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Postby MaCk0y » Sat Jul 05, 2008 11:54 am

Loyal Wife

There was a man who had worked all of his life, had saved all of his money, and was a real misery when it came to his money.
Just before he died, he said to his wife,
'When I die, I want you to take all my money and put it in the casket with me. I want to take my money to the afterlife with me.'
And so he got his wife to promise him with all of her heart that when he died, she would put all of the money in the casket with him.

Well, he died.

He was stretched out in the casket, his wife was sitting there in black, and her friend was sitting next to her.
When they finished the ceremony, just before the undertakers got ready to close the casket, the wife said,
'Wait just a minute!'
She had a box with her; she came over with the box and put it in the casket.
Then the undertakers locked the casket down, and they rolled it away.
Her friend said,
'I hope you weren't fool enough to put all that money in there with your husband..'
The loyal wife replied,
'Listen, I'm a Christian, I can't go back on my word. I promised him that I was going to put that money in that casket with him.'
'You mean to tell me you put that money in the casket with him!!!!?'
'I sure did' said the wife.
'I got it all together, put it into my account and wrote him a cheque. If he can cash it, he can spend it.'
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Postby MaCk0y » Fri Jul 11, 2008 6:09 pm

A little boy goes to his father and asks,

'Daddy, how was I born?'

The father answers, 'Well, son, I guess one day you will need to find out anyway!

Your Mom and I first got together in a chat room on Yahoo!

Then I set up a date via e-mail with your Mom and we met at a cyber-cafe.

We sneaked into a secluded room,

where your mother agreed to a download from my hard drive.

As soon as I was ready to upload,

we discovered that neither one of us had used a firewall,

and since it was too late to hit the delete button,

nine months later a little Pop-Up appeared that said:


'You've got Male!'
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Postby FCBinNYC » Fri Jul 11, 2008 7:49 pm

Haha do you come up with all these yourself?
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Postby MaCk0y » Fri Jul 11, 2008 9:26 pm

No, no, I receive them by e-mail. :D
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Postby MaCk0y » Mon Jul 14, 2008 9:34 pm

A woman went to a pet shop &immediately spotted a large, beautiful parrot..

There was a sign on the cage that said $50.00.

'Why so little,' she asked the pet store owner.

The owner looked at her and said,

! 'Look, I should tell you first that this bird used to live in a house of Prostitution and sometimes it says some pretty vulgar stuff.'

The woman thought about this, but decided she had to have the bird any way.

She took it home and hung the bird's cage up in her living room and waited for it to say something.

The bird looked around the room, then at her, and said,

'New house, new madam.'

The woman was a bit shocked at the implication, but then thought 'that's really not so bad.'

When her 2 teenage daughters returned from school, the bird saw and said,

'New house, new madam, new girls.'

The girls and the woman were a bit offended but then began to laugh about the situation considering how and where the parrot had been raised.

Moments later, the woman's husband Keith came home from work.

The bird looked at him and said,



'Hi, Keith!'
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Re: Funny Stuff

Postby MaCk0y » Mon Oct 06, 2008 3:39 pm

Bran Muffins

The couple were 85 years old and had been married for sixty years. Though they were far from rich, they managed to get by because they watched their pennies. Though not young, they were both in very good health, largely due to the wife's insistence on healthy foods and exercise for the last decade.
One day, their good health didn't help when they went on a rare vacation and their plane crashed, sending them off to Heaven. They reached the pearly gates, and St. Peter escorted them inside. He took them to a beautiful mansion, furnished in gold and fine silks, with a fully stocked kitchen and a waterfall in the master bath. A maid could be seen hanging their favorite clothes in the closet.
They gasped in astonishment when he said, 'Welcome to Heaven. This will be your home now.'
The old man asked Peter how much all this was going to cost. 'Why, nothing,' Peter replied, 'remember, this is your reward in Heaven.'
The old man looked out the window and right there he saw a championship golf course, finer and more beautiful than any ever built on Earth.
'What are the greens fees?,' grumbled the old man.
'This is heaven,' St. Peter replied. 'You can play for free, every day.'
Next they went to the clubhouse and saw the lavish buffet lunch, with every imaginable cuisine laid out before them, from seafood to steaks to exotic deserts, free flowing beverages.
'Don't even ask,' said St. Peter to the man. This is Heaven, it is all free for you to enjoy.'
The old man looked around and glanced nervously at his wife.
'Well, where are the low fat and low cholesterol foods and the decaffeinated tea?,' he asked.
That's the best part,' St. Peter replied. 'You can eat and drink as much as you like of whatever you like and you will never get fat or sick.
This is Heaven!'
The old man pushed, 'No gym to work out at?'
'Not unless you want to,' was the answer.
'No testing my sugar or blood pressure or...'
'Never again. All you do here is enjoy yourself.'
The old man glared at his wife and said, 'You and your f....ing bran muffins. We could have been here ten years ago!'
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Re: Funny Stuff

Postby MUTU » Wed Oct 08, 2008 1:09 am

LOL good one :)
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Re: Funny Stuff

Postby MrLinky » Thu Oct 09, 2008 9:53 am

I like them too , very creative , not like the ones you're used to listening all the time . =D>
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Re: Funny Stuff

Postby MaCk0y » Wed Oct 14, 2009 4:55 pm

Here's a funny ending to a 'football' match from the States. Reactions and emotions swap dramatically between the 2 teams in a matter of seconds.

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Funniest Article Ever

Postby shpati_L1 » Tue Oct 20, 2009 3:07 pm

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Re: Funny Stuff

Postby Element » Wed Nov 18, 2009 11:36 am

The BIGGEST GOAL KEEPER MISTAKE EVER


LMAO


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Re: Funny Stuff

Postby shpati_L1 » Wed Nov 18, 2009 12:36 pm

ahahahaha
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Re: Funny Stuff

Postby appudds » Wed Nov 18, 2009 1:58 pm

Element wrote:The BIGGEST GOAL KEEPER MISTAKE EVER

Is that Michael Rensing? :lol:
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Re: Funny Stuff

Postby ballackfcb » Wed Nov 18, 2009 6:50 pm

:lol: :lol: :lol:

1.36 till end(last 15 seconds)

Good to see team spirit in german dressing room =D>
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Re: Funny Stuff

Postby MaCk0y » Tue Dec 08, 2009 8:08 pm

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