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Fun Thread

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Re: Fun Thread

Postby JANKER » Sat Mar 26, 2016 5:56 am

What an artist... =D> Deserves a 10, formidable.
"Football is very simple." - Kaiser Franck
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Re: Fun Thread

Postby DRvad14 » Sat Mar 26, 2016 12:51 pm

Young Chuck moved to Texas and bought a donkey from a farmer for $100.00.
The farmer agreed to deliver the donkey the next day.
The next day he drove up and said, "Sorry son, but I have some bad news. The donkey died."
Chuck replied, "Well, then, just give me my money back."
The farmer said, "Can't do that. I went and spent it already."
Chuck said, "Ok, then, just bring me the dead donkey."
The farmer asked, "What ya gonna do with him?
Chuck said, "I'm going to raffle him off."
The farmer said, "You can't raffle off a dead donkey!"
Chuck said, "Sure I can. Watch me. I just won't tell anybody he's dead."
A month later, the farmer met up with Chuck and asked, "What happened with that dead donkey?"
Chuck said, "I raffled him off. I sold 500 tickets at two dollars a piece and made a profit of $898.00."
The farmer said, "Didn't anyone complain?"
Chuck said, "Just the guy who won. So I gave him his two dollars back."
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Little April was not the best student in Sunday school.
Usually she slept through the class.
One day the teacher called on her while she was napping, "Tell me, April, who created the universe?"
When April didn't stir, little Johnny, a boy seated in the chair behind her, took a pin and jabbed her in the rear. "GOD ALMIGHTY!" shouted April and the teacher said, "Very good" and April fell back asleep.
A while later the teacher asked April, "Who is our Lord and Saviour," But, April didn't even stir from her slumber. Once again, Johnny came to the rescue and stuck her again. 'JESUS CHRIST!" shouted April and the teacher said, "very good," and April fell back to sleep.
Then the teacher asked April a third question. "What did Eve say to Adam after she had her twenty-third child?" And again, Johnny jabbed her with the pin. This time April jumped up and shouted, "IF YOU STICK THAT F*****G THING IN ME ONE MORE TIME, I'LL BREAK IT IN HALF AND STICK IT UP YOUR ARSE!"
The Teacher fainted.
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Re: Fun Thread

Postby pyrasur » Sat Mar 26, 2016 2:46 pm




Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
而剑法的最高境界,则是手中无剑,心中也无剑,是以大胸怀,包容一切。那便是不杀,便是和平。-英雄
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Re: Fun Thread

Postby JANKER » Sat Mar 26, 2016 3:24 pm

"Football is very simple." - Kaiser Franck
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Re: Fun Thread

Postby FCBayernMunchen » Sat Mar 26, 2016 6:24 pm

Image
We will rise again! (when we stop burying our heads in the sand)
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Re: Fun Thread

Postby ramsej84 » Sat Mar 26, 2016 6:32 pm

There was an era when men would be aroused by just watching the movement of the legs under the heavy garments the women used to wear...
Today they just kill our imagination... Hey not that I want to complain:twisted:
U l-Kotra qamet f’daqqa – u għajtet: “Jien Maltija!
Miskin min ikasbarni, - miskin min jidħak bija!”
U l-Kotra għanniet f’daqqa – u semmgħet ma’ l-irjieħ
L-Innu ta’ Malta tagħna, – u l-leħen kien rebbieħ,
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Re: Fun Thread

Postby JANKER » Sat Mar 26, 2016 6:37 pm

Spoilers...
"Football is very simple." - Kaiser Franck
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Re: Fun Thread

Postby ramsej84 » Sun Mar 27, 2016 12:06 am

DerKaiser wrote:Image
Finish Him!

have a look here
and if you guys have time read this chap's comment...

Raymond John Shepherd • 6 hours ago
I was asked today, why I did not like or watch football. The person knew that in my teen’s right up to 30 I played football. I tried to explain as best I could the difference of when I used to play compared to modern day football.

For a start we used to play for the love of the game, we were amateurs so no payment was involved, in fact we paid to play by way of subs and had to find our own way to the venue no car so public transport. You played the ball not the player; you were allowed body contact in the way of a shoulder push if you were strong enough. If you went down you jumped back up and went after the ball not the referee. I would finish a night shift on the Saturday morning; grab a few hours’ sleep before packing my gear to go to the venue. Come rain snow or sun we always played sometimes when the ground was like concrete because of frost and freezing temps. We also had to wash our own gear after each match and took it in turns to take the football home to put a new inner tube inside. Yes it was a laced leather ball that weighed a few pounds when wet and if you headed it you found yourself a few inches shorter. The referee’s word was law and you never questioned it but respected it, on the few occasions a player abused a ref he was banned from playing for a period. If it was a physical confrontation the player was banned for life.

Now I look at the modern game, for a start I am sure so called football players have to attend acting school before they are allowed on the pitch. Taught how to dive and pretend to be injured, also taught how to react to the cameras with facial expressions and gesture, “ What? Me Ref Never Butter Would Not Melt In My Mouth”. Let’s look at the dive first, for anyone who has taken part in contact sport. If you are hit and hurt you go down, the law of gravity dictates, you do not go up in the air first before going down. That is where the acting lessons come into their own. Now look at the performance next, if you are hurt the last thing in the world you would do is roll around on the ground, if you think or feel you have a broken ankle you stay very still because you make the pain worst by rolling around. This is proven time and time again by the player himself, when he knows he has gained a penalty and hears the whistle, he jumps up nothing wrong and he is the one taking the penalty. The team, yes it is supposed to be a team event with men working together to score goals. They are paid huge amounts of money to achieve this and yet when one does score he runs around like a pre-Madonna. His team mates mob him hugging and kissing, they are even allowed to run off the pitch and delay the game. Question how about the last 10 games when no one scored, that is what you are paid to do score goals. Did you still get your money of course you did.no hugging and kissing ? If the normal man in the street employed in manufacturing did not produce the goods and did such a bad job he would lose his job for sure. It has even got to the stage of players pretending to be hurt in the penalty area to get an opponent sent off. It is no longer a sport but big business and if the team is losing it is the manager who gets the sack. The pretty boys still keep theirs job and continue to draw their wages at the expense of the fans, so they can buy their gold or silver designer boots and get crazy haircuts. No one told them the boots do not make them a better player and the haircuts make them look like clowns.

Modern football??? No thanks I would rather watch paint dry
U l-Kotra qamet f’daqqa – u għajtet: “Jien Maltija!
Miskin min ikasbarni, - miskin min jidħak bija!”
U l-Kotra għanniet f’daqqa – u semmgħet ma’ l-irjieħ
L-Innu ta’ Malta tagħna, – u l-leħen kien rebbieħ,
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Re: Fun Thread

Postby JANKER » Mon Mar 28, 2016 2:59 am

"Football is very simple." - Kaiser Franck
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Re: Fun Thread

Postby MaCk0y » Mon Mar 28, 2016 4:20 pm



Need a group like this here.
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Re: Fun Thread

Postby German-American » Tue Mar 29, 2016 1:01 am

Neymar is such a diver.....he needs to be banned for a couple games, same with other divers who are constant offenders.

Anyway...I found this on Youtube haah
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j6W8K8wUYcQ
Bayern for life, I just want to see at least one game...thats all I ask
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Re: Fun Thread

Postby JANKER » Wed Mar 30, 2016 6:09 pm

"Football is very simple." - Kaiser Franck
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Re: Fun Thread

Postby FCBayernMunchen » Wed Mar 30, 2016 8:03 pm

Image
We will rise again! (when we stop burying our heads in the sand)
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Re: Fun Thread

Postby ramsej84 » Thu Mar 31, 2016 11:02 pm

Some of the names given to babies in Malta during 2015
Hi, Jack Daniel, It’s me, Xemx - Malta's list of baby names [source]


Xemx (Maltese word for sun) :lol:
Jack Daniel
Lele (no no )
U l-Kotra qamet f’daqqa – u għajtet: “Jien Maltija!
Miskin min ikasbarni, - miskin min jidħak bija!”
U l-Kotra għanniet f’daqqa – u semmgħet ma’ l-irjieħ
L-Innu ta’ Malta tagħna, – u l-leħen kien rebbieħ,
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Re: Fun Thread

Postby DerKaiser » Sat Apr 02, 2016 7:13 am

If i had a dollar for every girl that found me unattractive, they would eventually find me attractive.
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