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Fun Thread

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Re: Fun Thread

Postby BayernLove » Mon Mar 07, 2016 8:45 pm

That reminds me

Three young friends, seeking a fortune, adventure together to Egypt where a new pyramid has been discovered.

Upon arriving at the pyramid, they are immediately told to leave as the site has already been excavated. The friends, not willing to concede, look for a different way in and find an entrance never before used.

It is through this entrance that they find a secret passage way, one that is made at first to look like a dead end but is truly a turn in the hallway. They venture around this turn and into a great room.

In this room are torches. A sign just inside the room warns "He who lights this shall burn to death." (In Egyptian hieroglyphs of course) The first friend takes a torch, and lights the end. The Friends venture through the room to another.

In this second room is a small lake, with a small canoe able to seat three. In the canoe is a paddle that reads, "He who uses this shall die a watery death." The second friend takes this paddle and uses it to guide the three of them to the other side of the lake and through a third and final door.

In this last room is a great atrium, filled with heaps upon heaps of golden artifacts and jewels. The three friends rush in, and come to a golden sarcophagus. The third friend looks at it, and sees that it has the warning "The first man to touch this treasure shall die a most terrible death" written on its exterior. The third friend, giving the message no care, proceeds to pick up as much gold as he can. His friends quickly follow suit.

Many months later, after the friends had returned home with their loot and used it to live lucrative lives, the third friend received troubling news. The first friend had been sleeping when his mansion had caught fire and burned to the ground, killing him. Remembering the warning, he calls the second friend, but they both laugh it off.

A month later, the third friend is watching the news when a breaking story comes on. It is his second friend, who had been out on his yacht. The boat had unexplainably capsized, killing him. The third friend saw this and grew terribly fearful.

Assuming he had a month left before whatever horror would befall him, the third friend sold many of his belongings to afford the most secure underground bunker. He then used his remaining fortune to buy an incredibly high tech security system, cameras all over, and 30+ armed guards stationed at the entrance.

The third friend spent a month in the bunker.

30 days passed, and night was falling when the third friend look to the security cameras. Outside of the bunker, at the entrance, was an empty expanse of land, save one object. All the security guards were mysteriously gone, and just in frame was the silhouette of a sarcophagus. The third friend panicked.

Rushing to the door, he pushed all manners of furniture before it. A fridge, a bookshelf, his bed, a desk. But once he had placed the final barricade, a great pounding game to the door. Looking to security footage, the sarcophagus had begun to float, and was using itself as a battering ram. To the third friends horror, the door began to crack.

With a tremendous boom, the door and all the furniture was blasted away. The third friend screamed, as there in the doorway floated the sarcophagus. He ran through the bunker, stalked by the sarcophagus. The friend jumped into the bathroom and locked the door behind him. There, he sat on the toilet and cried.

BOOM The sarcophagus was there, breaking through the bathroom door. The third friend panicked, running to the sink as the sarcophagus inched forward. The friend picked up a bottle of shampoo and through it. The sarcophagus kept coming. He threw a can of shaving cream. The sarcophagus was within 10 feet of him now. He threw a tube of toothpaste. The sarcophagus was within arms length. The friend made one final attempt, he reached into the cabinet, grabbed a plastic bottle, filled with a green liquid , and threw it. The sarcophagus fell to the ground and turned to dust.

The man marveled at this. Looking for the last thing he had thrown, he picked it up and thought, "All I had to do was take some NyQuil and the coffin would stop."

Jesus saves, but Kahn does it better ;)
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Re: Fun Thread

Postby DRvad14 » Mon Mar 07, 2016 10:32 pm

Teacher: "Why did you laugh?" Boy: "I saw a strap of your bra." Teacher: "Get out! Don't come to class for the next 1 week. Another boy laughs..." Teacher: "Why did you laugh?" Boy: "I saw both straps of your bra." Teacher: "Get out! Don't come to class for next 1 month." The teacher bends to pick a chalk and little Johnny starts walking out of the class. Teacher: "Why are you going out?" Johnny: "With what I saw I think my school days are over."
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While playing in the backyard, Little Johnny kills a honeybee. His father sees him killing the honeybee and angrily says, "No honey for you for one month!" Later that afternoon, Johnny's dad catches him tearing the wings off a butterfly. "That's it! No butter for you for one month!" says his dad. Later that evening as Johnny's mother cooks dinner, a cockroach run across the kitchen floor. She jumps and stomps on it, and then looks up to find Little Johnny and her husband watching her. Little Johnny looks at his father and says, "Are you going to tell her, Dad, or do you want me to?"
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Little Johnny was sitting in class doing math problems when his teacher picked him to answer a question, "Johnny, if there were five birds sitting on a fence and you shot one with your gun, how many would be left?" "None," replied Johnny, "cause the rest would fly away." "Well, the answer is four," said the teacher, "but I like the way you're thinking." Little Johnny says, "I have a question for you. If there were three women eating ice cream cones in a shop, one was licking her cone, the second was biting her cone and the third was sucking her cone, which one is married?" "Well," said the teacher nervously, "I guess the one sucking the cone." "No," said Little Johnny, "the one with the wedding ring on her finger, but I like the way you're thinking."
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One night Little Johnny was really scared sleeping by himself at camp, so he sprints out of his tent and runs to his teachers tent and asks "Miss can I please sleep with you tonight ?". His teacher replies "NO" Johnny moans and says "But my mummy lets me". "OK then, just for tonight" the teacher replies. Johnny jumps into bed with her and asks "Miss can I please play with your belly button with my finger". She again says "NO". "But my mummy lets me" says Johnny again. "Well I suppose it's OK" replies the teacher. Things are silent for a few minutes until the teacher leaps up screaming "THAT'S NOT MY BELLY BUTTON" Little Johnny replies "It aint my finger either".
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Re: Fun Thread

Postby JANKER » Wed Mar 09, 2016 6:30 am

Kids are insane, these notes prove it (30 Photos) [source]
"Football is very simple." - Kaiser Franck
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Re: Fun Thread

Postby JANKER » Wed Mar 09, 2016 5:54 pm



I wonder how much did Shitty pay these fans to come and watch this game or maybe they're just a 4D emulation. :-k :P
Last edited by JANKER on Fri Mar 11, 2016 9:50 pm, edited 2 times in total.
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Re: Fun Thread

Postby JANKER » Wed Mar 09, 2016 6:06 pm



meep meep...
"Football is very simple." - Kaiser Franck
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Re: Fun Thread

Postby ramsej84 » Wed Mar 09, 2016 7:57 pm

JANKER wrote:

They're willing to sign anything and anyone... I wonder how much did Shitty pay these fans to come and watch this game or maybe they're just a 4D emulation. :-k :P

or it is just some british humour :lol:
U l-Kotra qamet f’daqqa – u għajtet: “Jien Maltija!
Miskin min ikasbarni, - miskin min jidħak bija!”
U l-Kotra għanniet f’daqqa – u semmgħet ma’ l-irjieħ
L-Innu ta’ Malta tagħna, – u l-leħen kien rebbieħ,
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Re: Fun Thread

Postby ramsej84 » Fri Mar 11, 2016 9:58 am

:lol:
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U l-Kotra qamet f’daqqa – u għajtet: “Jien Maltija!
Miskin min ikasbarni, - miskin min jidħak bija!”
U l-Kotra għanniet f’daqqa – u semmgħet ma’ l-irjieħ
L-Innu ta’ Malta tagħna, – u l-leħen kien rebbieħ,
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Re: Fun Thread

Postby JANKER » Fri Mar 11, 2016 7:23 pm

"Football is very simple." - Kaiser Franck
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Re: Fun Thread

Postby JANKER » Fri Mar 11, 2016 7:35 pm



Nice slide...
"Football is very simple." - Kaiser Franck
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Re: Fun Thread

Postby ramsej84 » Fri Mar 11, 2016 7:56 pm

JANKER wrote:

Nice slide...

wow...
U l-Kotra qamet f’daqqa – u għajtet: “Jien Maltija!
Miskin min ikasbarni, - miskin min jidħak bija!”
U l-Kotra għanniet f’daqqa – u semmgħet ma’ l-irjieħ
L-Innu ta’ Malta tagħna, – u l-leħen kien rebbieħ,
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Re: Fun Thread

Postby FCBayernMunchen » Sat Mar 12, 2016 1:10 pm

[quote="JANKER"]

Life goals :)
We will rise again! (when we stop burying our heads in the sand)
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Re: Fun Thread

Postby MaCk0y » Mon Mar 14, 2016 2:11 pm

:lol:

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Re: Fun Thread

Postby JANKER » Mon Mar 14, 2016 3:41 pm

Image
"Football is very simple." - Kaiser Franck
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Re: Fun Thread

Postby ramsej84 » Mon Mar 14, 2016 4:06 pm

a medic, a lawyer a priest and a young boy were travelling on a plane which had encountered some problems.
They had to evacuate the plane but there were only three parachutes ...
The medic grabbed the first... and said '' I save peoples' lives therefore I am needed'' and he jumped off
The lawyer grabbed another parachute and said '' I am a very intelligent lawyer and one of the best so I need to stay alive'' and he jumped as well...
There was one left and the priest turned to the boy and told him; '' take it for you, I've lived my life and you need it more than I do''.
The boy replied; '' there is no need, we still have two left; the most intelligent lawyer took my school bag instead!
U l-Kotra qamet f’daqqa – u għajtet: “Jien Maltija!
Miskin min ikasbarni, - miskin min jidħak bija!”
U l-Kotra għanniet f’daqqa – u semmgħet ma’ l-irjieħ
L-Innu ta’ Malta tagħna, – u l-leħen kien rebbieħ,
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Re: Fun Thread

Postby DRvad14 » Tue Mar 15, 2016 3:31 am

Image

A sheep farmer is tending his flock when a city slicker rolls up in his BMW, hops out and asks,"Hey, if I tell you exactly how many sheep you have, can I take one?"
The farmer nods, so the city slicker opens his laptop, calls up some satellite photos, runs some algorithms, and announces,"You have 1,432 sheep."
Impressed, the farmer says,"You're right. Go ahead and take one." So the city slicker loads one of the animals into the backseat of the car.
"Now," says the farmer,"if I tell you what you do for a living, can I have it back?"
A gaming sort, the city slicker says,"Sure."

"You're a consultant," says the farmer.

"Wow!" says the consultant."How'd you know?"

"Well," says the farmer,"you showed up even though I never asked you to. You told me something I already knew. And you don't know anything about my business. Now give me back my dog."
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