FIFA say Hell will host 2026 World Cup
Alan Tyers writes for The Telegraph:
‘IFA President Joseph Blatter speaks prior to the official announcement of the 2018/2022 World Cup host countries on December 2, 2010 at the FIFA headquarters in Zurich. Russia and the tiny Gulf state of Qatar were awarded the 2018 and 2022 World Cups Thursday after an acrimonious bidding war marred by allegations of corruption and illegal deal-making.Hell will host the 2026 football World Cup after a Fifa report found “no reason” to overturn the controversial underworld destination’s successful bid.
A 666-page report seen by The Telegraph concluded that Fifa had acted ethically in awarding its showpiece tournament, and suggested Lucifer be compensated with “a really nice wristwatch, one with diamonds and everything” for having been put through an “unnecessary and upsetting” grilling.
Critics had cited the soaring temperatures of fiery damnation as a major concern for a summer sporting event, and accused the damned hordes of carrying out human rights abuses. But during a “fact-finding mission”, Fifa executive committee members found Hell to be a “first-rate facility”. “I could spend an eternity here,” noted one delegate.’http://www.telegraph.co.uk/sport/football/world-cup/11229335/Exclusive-new-Fifa-report-go-and-give-them-hell.html
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